Whatever.....

What to do with my life. It really sucks to be me right now. Not only do I have thyroid disease, Lupus, and Rheumatoid Arthritis...now heart disease!!! Why, oh why, I hate feeling sorry for myself, I loathe it...it makes me physically ill...I feel like I want to throw up. Anyhow. I am just not having a great day, I realized I am blessed more than I deserve. I have great kids and a great husband, surrounded by more friends and family thn most people can dream of having.
I am just so tired of feeling like a freak, I want to be skinny again, I want to work out..I want to be able to go shopping in the mall without pain.....
Any way I have had a fairly good day, except for the suicidal ideation. I will get through this I know.
My husband invited this sweet older couple I know o.ver for dinner, he drove them, cooked the meal, served desert and coffee and then drove them home...he then called me and thanked me for being so sweet and nice...
Hopefully I can act like I have a great life tomorrow, not the whiney beeahtch I am today